A Mother's Worst Nightmare



DS at 5 months old

 This past week has been completely insane! Baby G got sick just over a week ago and our entire house has been upside down ever since. As I was sitting in the hospital room as she slept last week, I was reminded of the first time I ever had a sick child... it was truly my worst nightmare.

It was Easter long weekend of 2008 and life was great! My DH and I had just bought our very first house, planned our first family vacation as a family of three and were starting to plan our wedding for the upcoming summer. Everything was perfect!

We put our then five month old DS to bed and settled to watch a movie.In the morning my mother (whom we were living with at the time) came into our room to get him so that we could sleep in and get some rest. Not even an hour later I heard my mother screaming from the top of the stairs for us to come upstairs quickly because she thought something was wrong with the baby.We came up the stairs to find him blankly staring into space with no expression on his face - it was as though the lights went off inside his head. He was completely unresponsive; yet breathing normally.

We quickly put him in the car and drove to the closest ER... I remember running into the Emergency room with his limp body in my arms screaming like a crazy lady "Help my baby - something is wrong with him!" My normally happy & active baby was totally limp & unaware of anything going on around him. The nurses took him from me and quickly rushed him into a room. After a few minutes I went into the room to see him and he was perfectly back to normal - smiling, laughing and cooing. I couldn't believe my eyes. As I turned to my DH and smile, I looked back to see his small body convulsing and his eyes rolling back in his head. Doctor's quickly rushed in and I was pushed out of the way... crying and in total hysterics I couldn't understand what was happening to my poor little baby.



The day we went home from McMaster

A few hours later the doctors talked about brain tumours, meningitis & epilepsy.. the doctor's suggested that we go to McMaster Children's Hospital because there was nothing more they could do at our local hospital. We were at the Children's Hospital for 7 days and went through M.R.I's, E.E.G, Spinal Taps and an insane amount of blood work. My DH and I only left our son's side to have a shower at a hotel room that the Ronald McDonald House provided for us - but only left if there was a family member to stay by his side.

The entire time we were at the hospital going through procedure after procedure, I kept thinking to myself "Why would God give me this beautiful child for five months and then do this to me? What have I done to deserve this? What has my baby done to deserve this? and why us?" But as I walked the dark halls at night hugging my little boy, I would meet other mother's that were there doing the same thing. I realized very quickly just how many sick children there are at these hospitals and that my son's seizures were so minor compared to the cancer & awful diseases some other children had.

We ended up leaving the hospital after 7 days with very few answers. He was unable to be diagnosed so he was diagnosed by default with "Infant Epilepsy" and was put on medication to control the seizures. It was at that moment that I realized how truly precious their small lives are & how quickly things can turn. I decided that I wasn't going to go back to work & that staying home with him was what I needed to do.

Four years later; here I am with another precious miracle and a fantastic four year old boy who is as normal as healthy as every other little boy!

DS at 3 years old

I am truly grateful for their health & don't take anything or any minute for granted because there are parents at those hospitals who have to go home without their children... I was lucky and I am blessed.